GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY
I used to get so frustrated when I couldn’t pick something up immediately or access the ease of movement and skill I witnessed in my peers. I started writing these things off under the big of umbrella of BO, YOU JUST AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH AND YOU NEVER WILL BE 🙅🏻♀️Full stop. End of story. Pack it up. Go home.
While there may be some truth in the first bit – more on that below – it’s the “never will be” that really messed me up and I feel determined to save you from the same fate!
The truth is, I was stopping myself before I even tried or before I could visibly and viscerally fail. In other words, I quit before I started and decided my reality before seeing if anything else was possible.
What’s so bad about not being “good enough”? Perhaps the danger is when we equate “good enough” to our worth as humans vs. our competence in a skill that requires practice, and – to that note – failure. For most of my life, my identity was completely intertwined with being a Dancer. This meant that any critique of my abilities immediately translated to a critique of my Self. These are not one and the same.
We owe it to ourselves to learn how to start from the baseline of already being good, worthy, and deserving of life and love. From there, we are free to explore our gifts and callings, our hobbies and curiosities, all from a steadfast foundation of enoughness.
So, bringing it back to your dance practice, if you are also hoping to start living this truth, give the following a shot:
1️⃣ GET CLEAR: what is ONE Thing you want to accomplish that currently feels out of reach? Or too hard? Or downright impossible? Write it down. On paper. 👀
2️⃣ BREAK IT DOWN: what would need to happen for you to accomplish the Thing? Whose help would you need? What life changes would be helpful to support you doing the Thing?
3️⃣ START SMALL: break it down even more because consistency > intensity, always always. What is lit.er.a.lly. ONE small action you can take each day to get you closer to the Thing?
4️⃣ DO IT: this is the important part, but the good news is that it’s only one, small, teeny, tiny action. You can totally do that. And if it feels like too much or you fall off after a couple days, break it down even more! Because progress > perfection is the other piece of the puzzle.
Self-confidence is self-competency. Prove to yourself that, actually, you CAN do things! And those small things will add up before you know it.
Let me know how it goes!
PS You can change your mind or edit the Thing at any time 💜
With kindness,
xo Bo
✨DISCLAIMER✨ privilege/existing structures/isms are real things – always. The words above are speaking to when we stop ourselves before anyone else can, get in our own way, and fail to look for the possibilities that are available to us.
